Dark Times

My mind keeps wandering off to the past and life regrets and then I have this tendency to be very obsessive over things I have no control over. My emotions have been fairly unpredictable. I should feel blessed for all that I have but lately I have been depressed. It’s like there’s nowhere that I feel I belong. I feel left out and people aren’t worth it anymore. I feel stuck and I’ve tried getting out. No matter how much I struggle, I find myself in the same place.

I wake up every morning and it’s like I don’t even have anything to look forward to. I just want to stay in bed all day and feel everything and nothing at the same time. This is probably just a phase that will go away at some point. I just wish there was someone I could talk to. I don’t need people telling me I’m negative or everything will be alright because I know it will be. I just need someone who will understand that all I want is the affirmation that I exist and that my being here is okay.

Lost

The past two months have been quite confusing, frustrating, and depressing. I know God has a plan for me but I have been growing impatient. When I was forced to work in postpartum after my unit closed down, I was in denial at first. I'd like to think He closed that part of my nursing career to lead me into something else. I guess He thought I was getting too comfortable with my position. I have put in applications to places but none considered me... but there was one that wanted to hire me but it just didn't feel right. I have prayed and prayed for Him to take me where He wants me to go. I keep telling myself that at least I still have a job, but I do not see myself doing this full time. My passion just is not in it. 

Lord, You know my plans for myself, but I know Your plans are greater. I pray that you grant me a peace of mind when things don't go the way I planned. Let me not grow weary, impatient, and bitter... but bless me with strength to accept the things that I cannot change. 

Europe

I've been an RN for a couple years. I like where I am now and I don't mind taking care of moms and newborns who sometimes develop complications. But something inside me tells me I should venture out and explore more areas. 

I guess when the higher ups decided to shut down my OG unit and lay off my team, I should have taken that as a sign. Welp, here goes nothing.

I recently traveled to Switzerland and Italy last month. I took so many videos and hoping to create a montage of everything. I had some content that I think would be valuable information to anyone who wants to travel to both countries. Anyway, here are some pictures I took during my travels.

Overlooking Zurich

Taking the cable car up to Mount Titlis

The Colosseo!

Suspension bridge in Mount Titlis

Rhein Fall in Switzerland

Lift me up

I created a blog many years ago but as usual, I had forgotten my account and password so here I am starting over. 

You would think being a nurse has equipped me with a sharper memory but NOPE.

First, I want to thank the Man upstairs for bringing me to this point in my life, for answering my prayers, for providing me unfailing strength through the hard times. I would not be here without His continuous guidance and love.

So I dedicate this first blog to my Father most Holy. I love you Lord, and I come to serve You.